Paths in a Maze of Glass
by W0lf Star
Summary: Elizabeth recalls the evolution of her relationship with John while he is trapped in a glass room in Atlantis.


**Title:** Paths in a Maze of Glass  
**Author:** Wolf Star  
**Fandom:** SGA  
**Pairing:** Shepard/Weir  
**Rating:** PG (maybe as much as PG-13 but only barely)  
**Spoilers:** unless I'm missing something, none  
**Disclaimer:** Characters, Galaxy, etc are not mine, but I do use them freely!  
**Notes:** so many thanks to trinity1986, thiswaltz, and franklymydear for doing a wonderful job of beta-ing for me and being patient with me while I was being slow and lame!

**Paths in a Maze of Glass**

She pressed her hand to the glass separating them by mere inches. It wouldn't break, couldn't break. They had tried everything, and, short of a miracle, there was no chance of getting through. As she leaned against it, the glass began to take on a life of its own. It took on meaning, depth, and, most of all, it embodied everything that had always kept her away from John in the past.

_As she looked at the man sitting in the chair created by the Ancients, she found herself instantly attracted to him. She couldn't explain why. Maybe it was his boyish grin, but a small, cynical voice in her head wondered if just maybe she was attracted to gene within the man that allowed him to work Ancient technology so easily._

'_He has the gene,' kept repeating over and over in her head, becoming a sort of mantra. However, when she looked into his eyes again, she knew that whatever she was feeling went deeper than genetics._

_Somehow she found herself pleading for him to be on her team. She had to have him. He was perfect. Each time she saw him, a jolt of electricity ran through her body, and she would find herself staring into his eyes. In meetings, she kept justifying her enthusiasm by explaining that his ability to control Ancient technology was truly impressive._

_Each time she was alone, however, Elizabeth would mentally kick herself. This whole situation just wouldn't do. Slowly, she began to erect defenses against the cocky new recruit. She tried to convince herself there would never be anything there between them._

_For almost two years she managed to pretend it had worked, though she never managed to cure herself of his stare. Then, __she had thought he was lost to her, dead in space. When he returned, unharmed and triumphant, she couldn't resist her feelings any longer and threw her arms around him._

She could see him yelling something through the nearly invisible wall, but she couldn't quite make it out. Cursing the failure of their radios, she held her hands out to the side, trying to indicate he wasn't getting through, but he just wouldn't stop.

"God dammit, McKay, give me a sheet of paper," she heard herself yell to the flustered scientist beside her.

"We don't _have_ any paper, Elizabeth. Remember? You just asked a few minutes ago. You sent Radek to get some more."

She hardly heard what he was saying as she pressed her hand up to the door. Finally, John stopped trying to yell and returned the gesture. 'I'll get you out of there' she mouthed to him, wishing she believed it herself.

When his eyes softened as the sides of his mouth moved nearly imperceptibly upward, she knew he wished he could believe her as well. He looked up and stared deep into her eyes, and she could swear he mouthed back to her 'I love you.'

'_I love you,' he said as they lay curled together._

_Elizabeth turned to him, tears in her eyes. Never before had those three words left her speechless. All she could do was hold him to her and smile._

'_Are you ok?' Concern added lines to his face. 'I know. When this started we swore we wouldn't allow it to get this far, but you're too perfect, Lizzy. I've been trying to figure out how to tell you, and…'_

'_Shhh.' She placed a finger over his mouth. 'Don't worry, John. I've been trying to find the right time to tell you as well. I love you more than I realized I could.'_

_Words ceased to be enough, and she threw her arms around him._

"Where the hell is that paper?" she shouted, turning around. Her eyes bored into Rodney, and she noticed him back away. In that instant everything became his fault. "There has to be something you can do. You missed something. The Ancients just wouldn't have an impenetrable room _without_ an override. God damn it. Find a way in."

"Do you understand just how many different things we have tried over the past four hours?" he paused, for once choosing not to go into a long, tedious description. "Dr. Weir, I have tried everything I can think of. I don't know why Colonel Sheppard was able to access it in the first place. We've been trying to determine the contents of that particular area for the past _two years_ without success. We have no _idea_ why it only let John in and why it chose now to do it. None. Nor do we have any idea as to how to let him _out_!"

'_John, you have to get out of there,' she said, laughing. 'I need to get in to my closet and get dressed.'_

'_Never!' came the slightly muffle response. 'The closet is mine now! You shall not pass.'_

'_Oh, really. Well, my knight in the closet, is there any way I might pass?'_

'_You must pay the toll.'_

'_And what is that?'_

'_The princess must give her noble knight who has spent all morning protecting her closet from the evil monster a kiss.'_

'_I think I can manage that.'_

_She playfully smacked his arm as he pulled her to him, planting his lips firmly on hers._

She looked back at the door, having calmed slightly, and noticed that John was wandering around the room once again. Most of the area was obscured by a strange configuration of walls, which all appeared to be made up of that same sort of glass. Oddly, she could barely see ten feet beyond the first barrier. As if by magic, another door opened inside the room.

As John disappeared behind the new layer of glass, the door in front of her began to change. Gradually, it became more and more opaque, but the moment John came back into view, it cleared again.

'_Elizabeth, I need to talk to you.'_

_She barely managed to contain a groan at the sound of Rodney's voice. She didn't know how he did it, but it seemed as if every time she attempted to sneak over to John's room his voice would ring out behind her._

'_Not now, Rodney,' came out of her mouth before she could catch herself. 'I'm sorry, it's just been a long day. Is it important?'_

'_It's about John.'_

_That gave her pause, and she suddenly stopped walking. 'What about John?'_

'_Actually, it's about you and John.'_

'_Excuse me?'_

'_People have been talking. Actually, they were talking a long time ago, but it's just…Well…I need to know. I know I'm invading, but…'_

'_You're right, you are intruding.'_

_She ended the conversation by closing the door between them, but she didn't keep walking. If people were talking, that meant they all knew. It was bound to happen, but fear still crept in. What if they stopped respecting her?_

He was pointing at something just beyond her field of view, but she couldn't understand his hand gestures. Finally, she felt paper being shoved into her hand along with a pen. _We're still trying to get you out_, was the first thing she wrote to which he nodded. Then she asked if he had found anything on his side that might be of any help. To her dismay, he shook his head and frowned. She couldn't help but feel as if she was playing 20 questions.

'_I won't play.'_

'_Well, then I won't tell you.'_

'_John, what did you find?' She could feel the eyes of everyone in the control room on her._

'_Nope, you have to guess.'_

'_John, now is _not_ the time.'_

'_But you'll never guess. Come on, Rodney, help her out here. What's the one thing that I could find that would lead to this conversation?'_

'_John, you didn't!'_

'_Yup. My team found it! We have our very own spare ZPM.'_

_Though her cheeks had taken on a deep shade of red, she couldn't stop smiling._

After some thought, she wrote _Do you think you might find something if you go further in to the room?_ She received a vigorous nod to that question. Fighting back the unprofessional urge to try to talk him out of it, she smiled and wrote back, _give it your best try_. Before he left, he leaned his head against the glass door, and she followed suit. She looked as deeply into his eyes as he did into hers. They both kissed the glass as if their lips could meet. As he walked off, the glass became black.

'_I don't think I can do this any more, John.'_

_He pulled away from her, his shoulders falling, and his eyes for once didn't meet hers. 'What do you mean?'_

_For once she couldn't find the words to express herself. Her conversation with Rodney the week before kept replaying itself in her mind. In John's eyes she saw all the secret looks exchanged between members of her crew when they believed she wasn't looking. There was nothing more overt. Nobody questioned her judgment outright, but she kept imagining the day when they would not be so discreet._

'_Elizabeth? What's wrong? Tell me.'_

'_I think my judgment is becoming impaired when it comes to your team. And I think others are beginning to question my decisions. It's only a matter of time before they start to say it out loud. I just can't put my own feelings above the safety of Atlantis.'_

_John looked away from her as if he suddenly found the view out his window much more interesting. It took him a few minutes before he was able to say anything. She wished she could look away from the pain displayed in his eyes, but she clenched her teeth and refused to advert her gaze. _

'_Please don't,' was all that came out of his mouth, and Elizabeth began to feel the initial stirrings of tears at the corners of her eyes. 'Don't leave me alone. I don't think I could do that, Liz.'_

'_I don't want to,' she tried to blink away the increasing moisture in her eyes, but she could feel her resolve fading. 'But what else can I do?'_

'_I don't know, but don't do this. Please, just not this.'_

_Despite her efforts, tears began to stream down her face. Her knees gave out from under her, and she fell on the bed. As John's arms encircled her, she knew she would have to find another way around the problem._

Hours later, long after everyone else left, she still sat pressed against the darkened door. There was no further sign of John. The minute he had walked into that room, his signal had disappeared from the life signs detector. She couldn't know for sure if he was even still alive. Somehow, though, she was certain he was still there somewhere. She just wished she knew where that was.

Carson finally forced her to move after a day and a half, informing her that he would not allow her to starve herself to death while he was in charge of her health. She barely touched her food, and she couldn't quite figure out why this was so much worse than when he went on off-world missions. By the time all the food on her plate had become an unrecognizable glob of mush, she decided it was because this time he was all alone.

_Everything had been fine for a while. If anything, she had spent more time with John after their 'conversation.' But then, those horrible words had come: 'I need some time alone to think.'_

_She couldn't say anything, couldn't react. Everything fell away, but she refused to let it show. All she had asked was how long._

_He hadn't given her an answer, just a long, sad look._

_The door slid shut, blocking her view of his retreating back, and she had collapsed onto her bed. She couldn't blame him. It had been her fault for bringing the topic up in the first place. Why hadn't she thought he would react this way? She hadn't even seen it coming._

_Suddenly, her bed seemed too large, too hard, and too cold. She went straight past pain to numbness. Tears refused to come. All she could do was sit alone and lose herself in the intricacies of the wall._

She heard a knock at the door to her quarters a couple hours after 'dinner,' and when it slid open she was convinced she had fallen asleep, despite all her attempts to remain conscious. As his lips made contact with hers, she actually pinched herself to make sure it was real.

"John! When did you… How did you… Oh god, John."

She lost herself in his arms for minutes that felt like eternity. When they finally let go, she couldn't stop smiling - despite the tears that began to fall from her eyes.

_Her first response to seeing John on the other side of her door was some sort of guarded happiness. She wanted to fall into his arms and drag him into her room so he could fill her bed once again. Instead she stood there, just looking into his eyes._

_For what seemed an eternity, he did nothing but look back into her eyes. He kept shuffling his feet and wringing his hands. Finally, she asked, 'Do you want to come in?'_

_What could possibly pass as a blush crossed his face, and he stepped into her room. Without warning, he began to speak. 'I think we should live together.'_

'_What?' was all Elizabeth could say._

'_I need you, Liz. We spend all our time together anyway. I needed time away from you to make sure, but I know now. I don't want to hide any more, and I know I want to wake up with you every day.'_

'_I don't know what to say. I really hadn't thought of this.'_

'_Then say you think it's a good idea.'_

'_I can't say that, John. I need to think about it. I just can't give you an answer this fast.'_

'_When will you know?'_

'_John!'_

'_I'm really serious, Liz. Besides, if I ask you enough, maybe I'll get an answer faster.'_

_For the first time in days, she found herself laughing. 'I'll tell you tomorrow evening, after you're off duty.'_

'_Well, it will give me something to think about while running around Atlantis all day, but it better not be any later,' he finished the conversation, adding a fake pout and eliciting another laugh from Elizabeth._

During the debriefing, Elizabeth was almost afraid to know what had happened, but she knew she had to ask.

"It's the most brilliant escape plan I have ever seen."

"I don't understand. Please elaborate, John."

"It's a maze. But, it isn't like any maze I have ever seen before. You can't see the door to get you to the next section of pathways until you manage to trigger it. If somebody ever followed you, and they didn't know where they were going, you would be through it and on another world before they got into the second room."

"I still don't quite understand."

"There's another Stargate at the other end, and I don't think anyone's ever dialed in, only out."

For the first time during the meeting, Elizabeth noticed Rodney perk up. He sat straighter in the chair, leaned forward and looked directly at John.

"Are you saying we actually have another Stargate right here in Atlantis? Do you know what this means? Elizabeth, I have to start looking through systems to figure out why we didn't know about this before. And I need to make sure that we won't have another problem like Antarctica. And I need to…"

Before he could continue, Zelenka cut him off. "Don't you mean 'we,' Rodney?"

"We? Oh, right, you will of course help me. Everyone will need to work on this new discovery."

Before their spat could gain momentum, Elizabeth spoke again. "I think each of you should determine all the data that needs to be collected as a result of John's Stargate. Please discuss it among each of your teams and submit reports to me tomorrow."

As everyone filed out, she grabbed John's arm and held him back.

"Let's find a room big enough for us both."

A huge smile broke across his face. "I should get lost in a maze more often!"

She hit his arm and grinned up at him. Raising an eyebrow, she replied, "How about we keep that to a minimum."

Smiling, he took her hand, and they began to look over the layout of Atlantis.


End file.
